Saturday, January 29, 2011

Day 145

The topic of today's blog: What not to feed your baby.

#1 - Twizzlers.

He will love them. He will suck and slurp until he's covered in orange goo. And he will be upset when you take them away. And then Grandma will be responsible for cleaning him up.

#2 - Kittens.

First off, there's really not enough meat on their bones...too much work for so little payoff. Secondly, they are too fuzzy - definitely worse than eating a peach. However, he's not nearly as upset when the kitten was removed from his mouth so it was an easier task than the Twizzlers. 

#3 - Potato Chips.

Although the blue can is a really fascinating toy, all the shaking can cause the chips to crumble inside. And then, because they are so salty, the baby gets really thirsty. And then all he wants is a drink.

#4 - Beer.

So what happens? You end up buying him beer all night long. It gets expensive. But at least he has good taste. He wanted none of that nasty Miller stuff. 

But the payoff is a full tummy + a bunch of beer = a sleepy baby. He ended up sleeping through most of trivia and that allowed mama to drink beer and eat chips and twizzlers. But I stayed away from the kittens. They were too messy.

"I might be drunk, Daddy, so I'm just gonna close my eyes for just a little while. Goodnight...."

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